Reprinted with permission from The American Lawyer, it having appeared on law.com. © 2022 ALM Media Properties, LLC. Further duplication or distribution without permission is prohibited. All rights reserved.
Law.com Editor’s note: In her latest Fully Human Lawyer™ column, leadership coach Lauren G. Krasnow explores how a lawyer can most effectively receive feedback. This piece is a follow-on from her
last month on the need for managers and leaders to give effective feedback.
Sam, a law firm associate, was stressed. A huge deal had just closed, and although no one said a word to him, Sam suspected his supervisors were disappointed with his work. Much of his work product had disappeared from the final version, without anyone telling him. Sam had not seen or crossed paths with Kelly, the team’s leader, in some weeks.
Now Sam needed more billable work, and his first instinct was to avoid Kelly. Sam reasoned that he deserved feedback and hadn’t gotten it, so he should try to work with others who were more likely to give it to him.
I see this unfortunate situation all the time: someone does not get the feedback they need and is instead met with a silence that leaves them either ruminating about possible problems, or else being blissfully clueless and repeating their mistakes. Not only is it alienating to the person in need of help; it can create a backlash against working with supervisors who can’t be bothered to help others advance.
There are multiple reasons supervisors don’t give feedback: not knowing how, feeling too time-constrained, wanting to avoid difficult conversations; I explored those reasons in a prior Fully Human Lawyer™ column. Having come to appreciate how crucial meaningful feedback is as a way to attract and retain top talent, many law firms and other organizations now offer management training or coaching to teach feedback-giving skills.
But giving feedback is one skill. Receiving it well is another.
The latter is a skill worth cultivating—for anyone, not just law firm associates.
The Skills Needed to Get Meaningful Feedback
Learning to ask for and to welcome feedback is not just a one-off act—it can be a career game-changer. People who welcome feedback usually find that it leads to organic mentoring and deepens professional relationships. Make it known that you are worthy of correction, that you will listen to advice without defensiveness and that you will reward the effort and time a supervisor has invested in you.
How?
Instead, mine for specifics: “What’s the most important thing I could do differently next time?” or “What’s one thing I can do better/one strength I can leverage?” Get examples to make sure you understand fully; in my experience, people too often skip this step. For each example, think through—or better yet, ask—what you should have done, as opposed to what you did.
While opening the door is always important, it’s especially so if you might have made a mistake (all of us do). I’ve worked with many lawyers whose instinct is to act like an ostrich and hope the problem remains undiscovered and goes away. Don’t do that. It is always better to reach out proactively. Not only will you learn to improve, but you will cultivate goodwill.
Avoid being dismissive of advice by focusing only on your intention (“What I was trying to do was….”) and tuning out what you have just been told. While it’s human nature to want to explain ourselves, your explanation often matters a lot more to you than it does to others. What usually matters to others is the impact, not the intention, of our actions.
How can you show you are someone worthy of their investment?
Sam eventually reached out to Kelly and said he suspected he hadn’t delivered what was needed on his last assignment. He asked Kelly if she would consider taking the time to clarify where his work had taken a wrong turn. Kelly had a long list to share: not flagging and fixing conflicting provisions, not clearly defining certain terms, etc. Sam took notes and thanked Kelly for her candor. He asked if he could check back in two weeks.
Kelly ended up asking Sam to work on an upcoming transaction. Sam now makes a point of checking his work for all the errors Kelly had pointed out to him before submitting it. I’m not sure who is more pleased with this outcome: Sam or Kelly. Or their firm.
Be someone worth investing in; your efforts will have a high ROI. It can be a career game-changer.
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