Coaching Saved Me, So I’m Paying It Forward.
Here’s the story of how coaching dramatically changed my life for the better. More importantly, it’s the story of why and how YOU might want to consider letting coaching do the same for you.
In late 2018, not long after I became a coach, I was diagnosed with cancer. I’m better and healthy now. But I endured months of psychological trauma, stemming not just from cancer but also from various mind-bending encounters with “the health care system.”
I didn’t sleep for days, I stopped eating, and I found myself staring into space talking to myself for hours on end. I’d never experienced trauma before, and I didn’t know if or when it would end. It was terrifying to me and my family.
First, I Owned My Power...
My coach training had equipped me with skills to understand and manage human emotions and behaviors. Those tools allowed me to make sense of the incomprehensible things that had happened to me, and take back my own power.
I became my own coaching client; I used coaching techniques to identify what exactly I needed, and from whom, to restore my trust.
I met with each member of my medical team to explain what I needed from that person, and I asked if they could give me that. All my doctors responded positively, with some even thanking me for my feedback. Many encouraged me to share my story.
I’m incredibly thankful that my cancer diagnosis occurred after I became a coach. I can say with 100% certainty that if I hadn’t had coaching tools to use during this experience, it would have taken me many years or even decades to overcome it, if I ever did at all.
Then I Coached Others to Own THEIR Power
What shocked me most of all is that as I moved from vulnerable to empowered, I didn’t just move past my trauma. I actually started having powerfully positive things happen all the time.
I started getting more requests for coaching, and from increasingly senior-level leaders. My personal relationships developed new levels of depth and intimacy; and I started having more meaningful interactions with people I’d just met. Best of all, I was spending my time, attention, and energy on people and activities that were important to me and no longer on those that weren’t. I’d been aiming for that elusive goal for years, yet I felt like I achieved it overnight with very little effort — or even consciousness – on my part. I’d never experienced anything like that before.
I now call this “Owning My Power.”
I began sharing my story with my coaching clients and they loved it – and applied those lessons to their own lives to Own THEIR Power.
Let's Talk About Results!
According to my clients, here's what Owning Your Power looks like in daily life...
Feeling Less Stressed
Earning More $$$
Enjoying Greater Opportunities
Having Free Time
Strengthening Your Relationships
Feeling More Confident
Owning Your Value
Leading By Inspiring
Being More Productive
Feeling More Fulfilled
Making Great Decisions
Living With Authenticity
My 4 Epiphanies
During the many months it took me to mentally untangle the knots from navigating the health care system, I reflected a lot about trust, power and vulnerability. I started noticing that these universal themes also arose in many of my coaching sessions.
This reflection led me to 4 Epiphanies:
#1
Most (maybe even all) people are inherently good and want to do “the right thing” — and, importantly, believe they are doing the right thing — towards other people.
#2
All of us tend to vastly underestimate our own power — both in our own lives, and our relative power vis a vis other people.
#3
Although most of us think we’re putting out into the world accurate signposts to let others know what we value and who we truly are, we’re usually way less effective than we realize.
#4
The above leads to all sorts of problems — both micro, in our own lives, and macro, in society. I now believe that most (if not all) of these problems are highly avoidable.
Thanks for joining me on this journey! Here's how you can take the next steps...
I’ve been encouraged by everyone who’s heard my story to share my learnings on a larger scale with the world. And I am: I’m writing a book now about how to Own Your Power.
But… writing a book obviously isn’t an overnight endeavor. So I’m doing what I’d coach anyone else to do: start with what I know best, because that’s where I can add the most value, and then expand from there.
In my case, that’s lawyers. I speak “lawyer” fluently (I’m a former lawyer myself). That’s how the Fully Human Lawyer™ (FHL) column came to be. It’s now published in The American Lawyer, which is one of the leading publications in the legal world.
In the FHL column, I share stories about power, trust and vulnerability that come up repeatedly in my coaching sessions. My goal is to inspire readers to consider how they might behave more empathetically and effectively — but without making anyone feel like they need to be “fixed.”
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